Saturday, July 12, 2008

Why Do Some Men Stray into Infidelity?



by:James Walsh

It’s - ‘Adultery’ and people indulging in such acts destroy their marital relationship while deeply hurting the people who love them most. Infidel people know that their acts are not only wrong but dangerous too, for revelation of their deeds would wreak havoc with their personal life. Yet, they are prepared to take such a great risk.

What motivates them to do so? People of both genders are known to have extramarital affairs, but the circumstances that drive men into infidelity are different from those that turn women unfaithful.

Is the Woman Responsible for Spousal Extramarital Affairs?

When apprehended, an adulterous man stoutly denies the affair or blames his spouse for driving him into committing such an act. Do women really drive their men into extra marital affairs? Some people agree that men are driven into seeking love outside marital boundaries, when it is non-existent in their marriage. Their spouse can partly be blamed for the loveless marriage.

Love and affection are vital not only for the survival of a relationship but also for making human existence happy. When it is repudiated, these lonely people stray outside marital confines seeking self-validation.

Denial of Love Makes a Man Vulnerable

Denial of spousal love makes people feel worthless and rejected and these feelings commonly turn them defenceless and they turn infidel.

Though marital unhappiness makes people susceptible, it is wrong to believe that every infidel person emerges from an unhappy home. Quite a few happily married men are also adulterous. It is individual thinking that makes them so. Men tend to draw a strict demarcating line between love and sex. Though they love their wife, they engage in illicit relationships to spice up life. Basically, it’s the cultural upbringing that determines whether adultery is perceived to be wrong or accepted.

Upbringing and Individual Attitude

Men are known to stray more than women in patriarchal households where the philandering men in the family are responsible for nurturing generations of infidel men down the line. The socio-economic conditions at the home front have a deep impact on the attitudes of the family members. It is heredity in such a lineage, to be strict with the women and encourage men to turn adventurous. As infidelity is forbidden by society and religion, the prohibition incites these adventurous men. The associated excitement of it makes adultery desirable.

These could be the general reasons that promote adultery. However, it is not right to blame anyone, and infidelity is usually individual responsibility.

Infidel Individual at Places of Work

Individuals, holding liberal views on adultery, are more inclined to have affairs in the office. Attraction between men and women is common while working in close proximity. If the physical relationship is followed by emotional attachment, the alliance turns stronger than the marital bond.

Once the extramarital relationship proves pleasurable and goes unnoticed by family, the man begins craving for more of such experiences. Such an excitement induces changes in the brain chemistry that makes adultery addictive. Addiction to adultery then becomes a problem that has to be handled by professional experts. However, it is not the work place alone where extramarital liaisons are developed; affairs can be developed at home too.

Online Affairs Developed at Home

In families where both the spouses are working, the wife spends all her free time with the children. The subsequent lack of attention induces the man to engage in other activities. It is at such leisure times that online relationships get developed. (Cyber affairs are alluring for the secrecy and privacy they offer.)

Developments of such affairs are usually accidental. Though the people concerned lack physical contact, they are deeply attached to their online partner. Such emotional bonding gives rise to intense crisis in the family. The good news is that, after enduring such distressing circumstances, marriages are turning stronger. The spouse of the infidel person wakes up and pays attention to marital problems by redressing them with remedial measures.

‘Adultery’ in a marriage, is a complex issue. Reasons as to what drives spouses to become unfaithful vary greatly and the factors leading to it differ according to gender. 9 out of 10 people disapprove infidelity, yet more than 3 out of 10 men develop extramarital relationships. Human heart is designed to love, and adultery is an offshoot of this characteristic.

What Are Her Signals To Take It Further?


by:Terry Leslie

Both women and men have motives in everything they do. Only difference is that a women’s motives are much harder to figure out, although not impossible. They do leave enough clues for you to figure out. Their body language, the questions they ask, and their actions all form clues to what they are after.

It may be for money. You’ll quickly notice this if she expects you to pay for everything and never offers to split any bills and she doesn’t take the opportunity to also pay for you at times. Questions she asks such as what you do, the house you live in, and the car you drive, these are definite signs that she is in it for the money.

Other women may be in it for the sex, they just want to get laid. And you will be able to pick this up through their actions. Sexually adventurous women are much more aggressive in their actions such as approaching you very closely on the dance floor, wrapping their arms around you etc. Although there are exceptional shy ones that are also sexually active and are really just waiting for the right man to sweep them away and begin their sexual encounter and fantasy.

Women love to talk, so you should allow them to. They are revealing themselves to you. However, if you encounter a shy women who is more timid, ask her questions. Men usually make the mistake of trying to cover up complete silence by filling it up with self centered talk, intentionally or unintentionally. Women are turned off by self centeredness. Don’t make this mistake. There must be a balance. Try to ask a question for every question she asks, that is best way.

Women also act shy as they look downward, hoping the man catches them doing so. What they are doing is really inviting us into their world. Even a slight smile is perhaps an invitation to move forward.

It is not only men who get nervous in front of the opposite sex. Women are probably as or more nervous than men are. So if the woman is talking to you, then you’ve got a chance. It’s common that if the woman is either taken or doesn’t want to know you more, she can be quite blunt or you’ll notice that she will find a way to get out talking to your further.

If it’s none of these, then, go full steam ahead, she’ll want you to!

How To Approach A Woman?


by:Terry Leslie

The old saying, “The Knight In Shining Armor” still exists today like it did in the medieval times. Only difference is that we’re no longer on a horse and wearing our metal. These days it’s more of a male chivalry which we all men should show if we want to attract our woman. Women are always looking for their knight in shining armor all the time. It is in them to want to be rescued. So whenever there is a chance to help a woman in need, never hesitate. Just do it!

We may not be attracted to the woman we help, but you never know if there is another woman around the corner watching your good deeds. What is important is that this has to be real, a habit you gradually develop over time. You really should not do it just to attract a woman. The more you give, the more you get back. Just don’t expect it right away or else you’ll be disappointed.

So in future when ever you see a woman who either, needs help or rescue from a situation, go for it. Rescuing a woman is one of the surest ways to win their heart. Whether it’s from another man or an embarrassing situation, find a way to save the day and very likely you’ve immediately also found a way to her heart.

Woman unconsciously also like to see that you have good relationships with other women around your age because it shows that you are also liked by other women. She’ll find this attractive.

Never approach a woman too directly and stare down at her as she’ll begin to find you too intimidating or even creepy. An indirect approach is best. Try to also stay away from the usual pick-up lines such as the weather, buying her a drink etc.

You are much better off relating to her on some level. Try to find a common interest.

Its best to therefore approach women as a friend or casual acquaintance as this gives you the best chance to get to know her a little bit more and quickly find a common ground of interest. This can then be further developed into a full blown conversation. It also puts pressure off you trying to score on first attempt with expectations of a long lasting romance or a one night stand and then feeling stupid if you didn’t succeed.

Take your time, and continue practicing. This is the only way you’ll gain confidence over time. The more you do it, the more you’ll feel comfortable picking up women.

In the mean time, Good Luck!