Approaching Women And Getting Physical

By:David DeAngelo
***QUESTION***

Dave, your work has really changed my life. A buddy of mine introduced me to the whole C&F deal, signed me up for your newsletters, and I've recently purchased the books. I'm now currently passing on the ways of The Force to a complete wussbag friend who, like me, was brought up to treat women nicely and avoid talking about sexual things because it's “too forward”. Well, as you're covered a million times, we're programmed by our mothers to be total wussies from the day we're born.

I realized that in my past when I've not cared and was totally C&F and she got it, I ended up on dates. Unfortunately, I didn't know better back then and would morph into wuss mode because “it's what they want” and eventually I was just another friend. Anyway, it hasn't taken long for much of your teachings to make sense. The more I bust their balls the better things always seem, and when I can't find the ball busting material I pull the James Bond stance, cock the head to one side, and stand near them like I know they want it... and I'm just the man to give it to them! Believe me guys, exuding confidence is by far the biggest improvement you'll make to your game. Ok, on to the success story. First, I met this fairly hot chick (7.5) at the bar a couple weeks back. At first I was out of it, didn't know what to say (was a long day), and when my buddy was working her friend I just wandered off after just saying hi. I got my beer, wandered back after taking a time out to come up with a few lines and that's when things got interesting. I could tell that she was sorta confused that I just said hi and walked off and didn't just stay there while my buddy worked. Awesome. So I come back, busted on her a bunch, then wandered off... again. In the mean time my buddy was still struggling away with her chunky and not-so-hot friend. Sidenote: he's the “wuss” I refer to earlier that I'm currently trying to train. Things move on, I go talk to my other buddies who are with us, see her on the dance floor (buddy still in tow with “The Friend”), and now I'm getting warmed up with the C&F. I see this dude with the ugliest sweater ever created, point it out to her, and I asked her if she thought he had skinned his couch to make that thing. She loved it, got the e-mail, and the rest is history in progress. Dropped her quite a few cocky e-mails, she sent the phone number... To close this up, two comments and a question.

First, it's strange but true that when you ignore them they pay more attention to you. Second, had she not played the “we're drunk, lets not have sex” card I would have surely closed the deal... on our first time out after the bar meeting.

Dave, your teachings are truly amazing. I do have one question for you. I KNOW you're not supposed to buy everything because it's wussy (and expensive), but what do you do when you're out, you get round one because you lost a bet to this chick, and when round two comes she just sits there expecting you to buy? Fortunately, she's a cheap drunk, but unfortunately I bought all the booze that night. I went as far as looking at her and saying “well I guess I've got this round too, huh?” when she sat there. Like I said, round one was on me because of a bet and that's all I wanted to pay for. I want to go out with her again, but I don't want to get stuck with a $50 dinner tab. Thanks for any advice.

JMS Detroit

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I'd first like to comment on your story of how you met this particular girl.

You've really provided a great example of how to be very DIFFERENT than most guys, and how to integrate a lot of my ideas together and successfully apply them.

The idea of walking up to a woman, saying “hi”, and then WALKING AWAY is great (only if you're reasonably sure that you're going to see her again... like in a typical bar scenario).

What do MOST guys do?

They start talking to a woman, KEEP talking to her, try to get a “normal” conversation going, try to buy her a drink, etc.

In your case, you TEASED her mind by doing something unexpected... you said hi, then walked away.

This leaves her to wonder things like:

“Why did he leave?”

“Maybe he thought I was attractive, but then when I opened my mouth he didn't like my personality.”

“Why didn't he offer to buy me a drink or come on to me like the other guys here?”

...etc. etc. etc.

The point is that when you start talking, then walk away, then start talking again, then walk away it demonstrates that you're VERY different from the other guys in the bar who are all acting the same.

It shows that you have self control, that you have things to do, that you could take her or leave her...

And when you ADD to this the Cocky & Funny attitude and humor, it creates a VERY unusual experience for the woman... she's now talking to a guy who seems TOTALLY in control of himself... a guy who is not only unpredictable, but is also interesting and funny to talk to (good things, by the way).

Next, your idea of making a bet to see who buys the drinks is GREAT. I really like it.

If I were you, I'd just keep betting for each round of drinks... hey, if it worked once, why stop? It keeps things fun as well.

And if you're going to KEEP paying for drinks, you need to say “So what am I going to get out of this deal? Don't think just because I'm buying you a drink that I'm going to take you home with me.”

Tell her that she owes you a two hour full-body massage in return. Tell her that you can BUY a woman in other parts of the world for the price of her bar tab.

OK, one of the things you mentioned was that she said: “We're drunk, let's not have sex”.

If I were you, I'd get out the bonus booklet that you got when you downloaded Double Your Dating... the one called “Sex Secrets”. The problem you were most likely dealing with is that you made some type of sexual advance before she was EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY turned on enough.

When you really pay attention to what I teach in Sex Secrets, you'll begin to understand how to really AMPLIFY and accelerate her arousal, and how to get her to the point where SHE is the one that's telling YOU that she wants to move to the next step (and she'll be telling you with her body most likely, not her words).

Go read it again.

And to address your question about paying for drinks and dates...

The reality of the situation is that most women EXPECT a man to pay for a date.

I've had this conversation with MANY, MANY women, and when I challenge them and explain that it sets up an imbalance when a man starts paying for things in the beginning, most women start saying things like:

“I don't like cheap men.”

“A gentleman will always pay for a lady.”

“I don't want a guy who can't afford to take me out.”

“I don't want a guy that I have to support.”

“A guy is lucky to be with me, and he should pay.”

I can feel the hair standing up on the backs of the necks of men and women all over the world who are reading this right now.

To be fair, I have met SEVERAL women who disagree with this kind of thinking... women who are independent, self sufficient, and who aren't interested in finding a guy who will pay their way.

But in GENERAL, this is what you're going to run into.

Many women actually don't think of it as a man “paying” for them. They don't even think about the money itself.

They actually believe that a “gentleman” is supposed to always be the one who pays... that it was HIM who offered to take HER out... and that just because she's female that she deserves to be treated to free food and entertainment.

HELL, MY OWN MOM EVEN THINKS THIS WAY! lol...

(I think it's funny now, but I wish she would have told me what was REALLY going on about 20 years ago, instead of making me figure it all out myself.)

Am I starting to rant?

OK, random thought:

If a woman says, “Just because a guy takes me out and buys me a nice dinner doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with him”. Does that mean what she's really saying is that SOMETIMES when a man takes her out and buys her dinner that it means she IS going to sleep with him?

WHATEVER.

Now that we've talked psychology, let's talk action.

In my humble, personal opinion, the best way to avoid having to pay for a woman's dinner is to NOT TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I know that it seems obvious, and you've heard me say this in 100 different ways, but you REALLY CAN avoid paying for things by just avoiding the SITUATIONS.

If you don't want to pay for drinks, don't go to bars.

If you don't want to pay for dinner, don't go out to restaurants.

If you don't want to pay for diamonds, avoid jewelry stores.

There are a MILLION other great ideas out there, and a MILLION other MORE INTERESTING things to do.

And remember the most IMPORTANT reason why you don't want to start by paying for things:

IT SETS YOU UP AS A PROVIDER IN HER MIND.

Don't worry about PAYING for things, only be concerned with creating the emotion called ATTRACTION inside of her. That's it.

If she feels a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then nothing else matters.

Look around.

There are beautiful, intelligent, successful women that you probably know RIGHT NOW who are with guys who mistreat them... guys who the women even have to support entirely in many cases...

WHY?

Well, it all started with ATTRACTION.

Do three things:

1) Avoid traditional situations that automatically set you up to pay for things.

2) Think through and plan interesting experiences for women. Go places and do things that naturally create an interesting, fun time... and avoid places that naturally create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere.

3) Invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program. You are ready for the next step, and this is it.

Now that you understand some of the basic psychology of ATTRACTION, it's time for you to learn the ADVANCED STUFF.

In my eBook “Double Your Dating”, I'll take you BEHIND THE SCENES and I'll show you the SECRETS.

I'll teach you things like:

* How to overcome your fear and improve your self image to the point where approaching women no longer scares you or makes you nervous in any way

* How to meet women online... including the exact techniques I've used to meet women that most men would DIE to date

* How to do things that get women so turned on that they are literally ASKING you to sleep with them

...and much, much more...

Read more from David DeAngelo

7 Lap Dance Moves That Make Men Melt

Want to make your guy go gaga? It's not just about what you do in bed that counts. Sure, great sex technique will make you a star in his eyes, but knowing how to tease him will make you a legend. Don't believe us? In The Little Bit Naughty Book of Lap Dancing for Your Lover, real-life exotic dancer Rebecca Drury spills the seven secret — and really sexy! — steps that work on every guy, every time. You can thank us later.

The Grinding Circle
Stand about 60 centimeters (two feet) from your partner, with your feet slightly more than hip-width apart and your toes turned out. With your hips, begin to draw a circle, keeping your back arched. Now slowly bend your knees and grind down as far as is comfortable, then up again, continually undulating your hips and dancing erotically. It's really important to keep your back arched and upright. If you lean forward, you risk impersonating a sumo wrestler!

The Turn
As I've said, lap dancing is about showing off all your assets, so remember to turn around occasionally. For the best effect, turn slowly — your lover should barely notice. When you practice, work out which direction is most natural for you to turn in. And don't be overly concerned with how you do it; just take small steps and aim to make the turn blend into and become part of your dance. Keep circling your hips, and remember your arm movements. As far as possible, try to keep your lover in your gaze as you turn.

The Slap and Tickle
Turn your back to your audience and, with straight legs, bend forward slightly, look back at him coquettishly and stroke or lightly slap your bottom. I guarantee this will make him smile. Alternatively, still with your back to him, gently sway from your ankles, opening your legs gradually. Slowly, bend over so that your bottom is brazenly pointing at your man. Bend one knee to the side and straighten the other out to the other side. Glide your hand up the straight leg and raise your head over the corresponding shoulder to look back at him. Slap your bottom hard. Repeat on the other side.

The Lap Dance Grind
Gracefully dance yourself into the triangle made by your lover's open legs, and stand with your back to him and your feet together. Make sure you're as close to the chair as possible. Now bend your knees, keeping your back straight, and gently put your hands on your partner's knees. Lower your bottom toward his lap so that you can just feel his crotch on your skin. Then, keeping your hands on his knees for support, grind down gently, moving your hips in a circular or forward-and-backward motion. Look over your shoulder at your man while you do this, if you can. This is a little tricky, though! Take extra care whenever you go near his groin. If you hurt him, he'll never trust you to dance for him again!

The Breast Stroke
Every woman has her own personal scent that collects between her breasts, no matter what size they are or what perfume she wears. It's a potent aphrodisiac. So this step is guaranteed to get your lover going! Move closely into the space between his knees. Standing with your legs straight, gently lean forward and place your hands on either side of the chair. Once you have a firm hold, push your breasts toward his face; his nose should be nestled in your cleavage. For added effect, try brushing from side to side and stroking the end of his nose with your bra or nipple. Keep moving in a provocative way throughout.

Knee Strokes
Facing your partner, stand between his legs, as close to the chair as you can. Place your knees in the space between his crotch and the edge of the chair. Gently put a slight pressure against his groin with your knees. Lean toward him and blow gently into his ear or on his face. You could even exchange a mouthful of wine with him or pour champagne from your nipples into his mouth. As a variation, try this: Stand up facing your lover, then catch one of his knees between your knees and gently rub up and down his thigh. This is a fabulous sensation. Ask him to do it to you sometime!

The Body Slide
Standing between your lover's thighs, lean forward and put your hands on the back of the chair for support. Put one knee on each of his thighs, then lift your torso, slide your knees into the space in front of his crotch (careful here!) and slide, slowly, all the way down his body until you're kneeling on the floor in front of him. To get up off the floor, use your lover's knees for support and stand up sexily — bring your bottom up first, then flick your hair in his face as you raise your upper body.

Unique Valentine's Day Gift: Top Five Valentine Gifts For Her

For Valentine's Day this year, give that special someone the gift of a lifetime. Women love the concept of falling in love. Remember how Adam Sandler made Drew Barrymore fall in love with him everyday in the movie 50 First Dates. Adam Sandler has to come up with something new everyday, to make the same girl fall in love with him again. So, perhaps the traditional bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates are no longer enough to make the woman in your life fall in-love with you again. Well, you can try these top five unique gift ideas guaranteed to make her melt this valentine.

First Date Memorabilia

That first date will be the one they always remember. Even though you can not repeat the date, you can relive it. Framing the menu from the restaurant you first ate at together, is a brilliant way to show someone you care. To make the gift even more special, present it while eating dinner at the same place (even if it was fast food).

A slight variation of this is to have a favorite photo of the two of you framed in a nice decorative picture frame. For a more extravagant and sentimental Valentine’s Day gift, you can have your favorite photo converted into a CrystalScribe(TM), where you photo is engraved inside a crystal shape of your choice.

Star Light Star Bright

If you have ever taken a look at the sky and wondered how many stars there really are, rest assured, there are enough to name one for the person of your dreams. Through an online search, you will be able to find a great company that will sell you a star. You get to give it a name and forever change the sky. This gift will only be special if you name the star after the one you love. Please try and refrain from naming it after yourself, no matter how tempting.

Tell Them With Words

While the story of your romance may not be what you would call incredible, others may think differently. This Valentine's Day, try writing a concise version of your courtship and publish the story. Give your loved one a copy of the published work and watch their face turn as red as that rose you left behind.

Give Back Adult Time

As time moves on in a relationship and courtship moves to marriage, it seems every waking moment is spent with the kids. Free time is given away, day after day. Homework, plays, soccer practice and dinner make breathing a cherished commodity. More than any monetary gift in the world, many would simply love the gift of time. Offering to watch the kids while your love spends a day, night or weekend away will not only present the perfect gift, but offer a refreshing change sure to last many moons.

Clean Things Up

Many hours, from Valentine's Day to Valentine's Day are spent in the midst of cleaning. This year, take that chore away. A maid service for a month, is a great gift for the entire family. Imagine all of the free time you will gain when someone else has to do all the cleaning.

Valentine's Day gifts do not have to consist of roses, chocolates and expensive dinners. This year give a gift your loved one will be sure to love and a memory to last longer than any edible or perishable treat.

MJ Millares is a gift advisor and designer for EmJée Designs, Inc. For more unique personalized gifts or additional information on unique valentine's day gift please visit EmJee Designs website at emjeeonline.com.