Who Should Officiate A Same Sex Union?

With the rise of gay and lesbian unions, many couples are finally deciding to take the plunge and have a public commitment ceremony. Although several states now legally recognize same sex unions, many do not. If you have decided to make your relationship 'official' you may wonder who will perform a ceremony for you.

If you live in a state where same sex unions are not legally recognized, finding an officiant may be a difficult task. However, there are several options available to you.

If you would like a religious commitment ceremony, check with your local congregation. If you do not belong to a congregation, check with your local Unitarian Universalist, Episcopalian, Protestant, Buddhist, and Reform Judaism congregations. Some allow same sex unions and some religions leave it up to the judgment of their clergy. Do not get disappointed if your first few contacts do not perform such ceremonies, there are plenty of ministers and rabbis who do. You may also want to visit gay friendly internet communities to find recommendations for clergy in your area.

If clergy or a justice of the peace is not an option, you may consider asking a friend or close family member who is good at public speaking to officiate the ceremony. Consider people who are completely supportive of you and who will have wise things to say about love and marriage. Their words should be reflective of your relationship and commitment to each other.

Once you have selected someone to perform your ceremony, make sure you go over all the details of your union. Be sure to discuss how you would like the ceremony to be performed, how you will perform your vows, and what the officiant will say during the service. It is important to your wedding day that everyone is on the same page and knows what needs to be done.

Finally, if you cannot find someone who is appropriate for your needs, consider having a ceremony that you both will officiate. In this situation, you both would welcome those who have come, say a short reading or something reflective about your relationship, exchange vows, exchange rings and seal your public commitment with a kiss. If you are a bit shy publicly speaking, this option may not be for you.

By:Erica Tevis